Matriarch
by Adam Wing
THE ELDEST
FATE. DESTINY. DOOM.
They
rule our lives, decide our futures, queens of fortune and potential. So small
are we in Their eyes—so titanic Their vision—we tend to see Them as a single
inescapable god, decider of everything, final and first, cause and consequence.
But each is unique.
They
are Sisters.
Destiny
and Fate—the Young Ones—have ever been rivals. Born in the same instant, they squabble
for control of all that is and all that will come to pass. They command our
stories, vying for ownership. While Fate croons Her songs backward, settling
each ending before its start—parables carved in the currents of an immutable
universe—Destiny scribbles in the ink of human action, stories born of spirit,
courage and resolve, of foolishness, fear and greed. Her endings are those we
achieve for ourselves, yet they are no less inevitable, no less Hers in the end.
Then
there is the Eldest.
Doom.
Doom
eclipses Her Sisters. They are nothing that She was not already. Like Fate, She
is the chosen endpoint assigned to each living soul; like Destiny, She is the
fruit of every worldly ambition. And She is more. Doom is the great and
terrible scorecard, the price of admission, deferred until journey’s end. She
is the reckoning of each life’s work, be it arranged in the stars or shaped by
choices freely made.
Believe
you in Destiny, in Fate, in neither or both, Doom cannot be denied.
She will be there in the end.
Doom
awaits us all.
CHAPTER ONE
Doom
EACH Sister was
present in the hospital that day. No one saw them. No one heard their voices as
they laid claim to the oldest and youngest, to every life and future resting
in-between. But they were there.
Fate’s unyielding certainty clung to the air, mingling
with the sharp balm of ammonia hastily spread across vinyl, tile, and plastic.
Destiny’s resolve crackled around every pulsing body, binding lives in
intricate webs of hope, fear, and grim determination. And of course, Doom was
there, lurking out of sight, hiding around corners and behind heavy doors. In
such desperate settings, where people came to press back against death, fight
tooth and nail for one more decade, one more year, just one more breath of
life, the Eldest Sister was never far.
Today in particular, however, more than any in a very long time, Doom’s presence could be
felt. Today, she was here with purpose. This was the day the Merrill family
would arrive en masse. The day Ayla Merrill, the ancient family matriarch, would
come to the hospital to die.
◦ ◦ ◦
◦
“SHE was fine,”
the man explained—tried to explain—fumbling words as his voice betrayed an
agitation barely held in check. “She was normal. Gran’s always been—I mean,
she’s old, but she’s always been … healthy, you know? I can’t think of a
time I’ve seen her sick. But she just started coughing and wheezing, and she
just—she just … dropped. Like a bag
of onions!”
“How old is your grandmother?” the admissions nurse
asked, pen never leaving her clipboard.
“Great-grandmother,”
the man corrected automatically. “A hundred-nineteen. It’s her birthday. It was
at her party it happened. Everyone was there. It was something else, really, a
miracle—that we could all make it, I mean. Like, not just most of us; everyone came.
So many different schedules. Six generations under the same roof…” The man was
beginning to babble. For a time, the nurse allowed him. The patient had been
admitted, assigned a bed, and wheeled away by an orderly; it was a slow
afternoon, and amazingly, no one else was waiting; no harm letting him unburden
himself. Soon she realized, however, if she hoped to get anything useful from
him at all, she would to have to interrupt. “…the youngest still poopin’ in
diapers, of course, but we—” The nurse opened her mouth to cut in.
“Dan!” A female voice slapped at them from the
entrance. Five more had appeared through the sliding glass doors. The one who
had called out, a well-made-up but dazed-looking young woman—no older than
thirty—scooted past a trio of middle-aged ladies supporting a
hanging-grey-thread of an eighty—perhaps even ninety—year-old man. “We met up
in the parking lot.” The younger woman nodded toward the others. “Mum and Dad
are right behind. How is she?”
It took the nurse a second to realize this last was
directed to her.
“Well, we—”
“Cass! Dan!” A couple in their fifties hurried through
the doors and up to the group. “How is she? What do they say?” These questions
were not addressed to the nurse, who
had yet to get a word in.
“I don’t know,” the young woman, apparently named
Cass, answered. “I was just asking.”
“I don’t know,” Dan echoed. Turning back, he resumed
his monologue. “She was having trouble breathing, right? Well, first off, she
was fine. Everyone was saying…” The man’s rambling account washed over her once
again. Suppressing the urge to clench her jaw, the nurse watched as three more
Merrills trickled in to attach themselves to the group. Was she to contend with
the whole extended clan today? she wondered with no small feeling of dread.
Before more could arrive, before Dan could recite
the entire family history, she managed to time an interjection into one of his
short breaths. The doctors were examining their great-grandmother, she told
them—or their grandmother—or in the case of the ancient-looking man … his mother?—the one they called Gran, in any case—and they would be back
with their diagnosis soon. In the mean time, no, they could not all go
wait with her; no, she herself was
not going to speculate on what might be wrong, and yes, they could remain in the lounge, so long as they kept to themselves
and bothered no one.
This last answer was one the admissions nurse would
come to regret.
One-hundred-thirty-eight relatives—ninety-nine
direct descendants, and a healthy smattering of in-laws—gathered in the waiting
area that evening. “Gran is a remarkable woman,” one of them told the nurse
when she approached to suggest electing a contingent that would stay and wait
for news, so the others could go home. “Hundred-nineteen and sharper than
anyone I know. None of us can imagine what we’d do without her.”
“She sounds incredible,” she answered. Now please move on like any normal invasive
swarm.
Eventually, she did convince them. Six would remain
through visiting hours. One would be
allowed to sit overnight with the patient. For this, they elected the young
woman, Cass, who had grown up next-door to the old matron. All agreed, she
lived closest to Gran’s heart.
◦ ◦ ◦
◦
IT was a little
after 2 a.m. when Gran awoke. Cass did not immediately notice. Her focus had
fallen hard on what the doctor told her, and it was difficult to think of
anything else. “It’s her time,” the woman had said, hands folded on a closed
folder containing Gran’s entire medical life. “Her body’s giving out. She might
make it till morning, maybe a day or two, but … she’s very old.”
Old. Cass’s laptop
sat open in front of her, a half-finished pamphlet design splashed across the
dimmed screen. She had hoped to distract herself with work, but for hours she
had no more than stared at the open file. …Might
make it till morning, maybe a day or two… The words circled in her head,
overwriting all other thought. …But she’s
very old… The idea that this
woman, this fixture in Cass’s life, would be gone soon, was all she could focus
on. As her great-grandmother’s sleep became restless, Cass’s attention was
drawn inward. Even when the old woman slipped back into consciousness, she
failed to notice. Only when Gran actually called out, did she finally snap back
to the world.
“Ollie?” Gran’s fear cut the darkness, causing the
younger woman to start. “Ollie, where am I? Where is this? What am I doing
here? Ollie?!”
Tossing her laptop to the other chair, Cass reached
for the old woman. “Sh-hh, Gran,” she
whispered. “Sh-hh-hh, it’s me. It’s
Cassidy. Your little Cass.”
“Cass?” If
anything, Gran’s voice sounded more panicked. “Oh, God. Cass … where am I? Where—where’s Ollie?”
“Gran, no, it’s okay. It’s okay. You’re in the
hospital. You’re with me at the hospital. You fainted at the party. We brought
you here to rest and get better.”
“No. No, I don’t like this, Cass. I need to see him.
I need … I need … oh…” Her voice trailed off, as though the effort to speak was
too much. This frightened Cass. Gran did not scare easily. Gran did not get befuddled. She was immutable, a
force of nature. Seeing her like this…
“Greatest-Granddad’s gone,” Cass said, pressing the
old woman’s knuckles in her palm. “He passed a long, long time ago, remember?
Years before I was born. You do, Gran. Don’t you?
Surprisingly, this seemed to have a calming effect.
Gran’s muscles relaxed, and she eased herself back onto the bed. “Yes,” she
breathed, sounding a little more herself. “Yes, Cass, that’s right. A long time. I just forgot. Just for a
second.” She placed a frail hand over Cass’s, which Cass then sandwiched in her
own. They held on like that for a minute before Gran pulled away. “Poor Ollie,”
she murmured. “Poor, poor Ollie.” Then, “Please, Cassidy, the light. I’d like
to see my favourite girl before I go.”
Cass flicked the switch on a wall-mounted fixture over
the bed, and a dull glow kindled in its frosted bulb. “None of this before I go crap,” she chided. “You’re
going to get better, okay? Mum and Dad brought you some things from the house;
some clothes, your jewellery, that old book you like to read. They want you to
keep your spirits up so you can get out of here and back home where you
belong.”
Gran smiled. “My little Cass. A hundred-and-nineteen
is long enough sentence for anyone, wouldn’t you say?” Cass shook her head.
Gran had exceeded her generation’s life expectancy before she herself was born,
yet to her, a world without the old woman in it was unthinkable. “Besides,”
Gran continued, ignoring Cass’s silent objection, “a promise was made many
years ago, and I imagine it’s time to keep it.”
“Gran, what are you—”
“You say they brought my bobbles?”
Sitting back, Cass nodded.
“Please.”
Cass allowed herself a moment of uncertainty before
retrieving a small cherry-wood box from the windowsill.
The box was an antique. Intricate friezes lay carved
around its sides, each depicting a season of the year. Webs of brass and silver
decorated the lid, set seamlessly into polished wood. Cass adored this box,
though she had never been allowed to touch it, or even look inside. It was
strictly off-limits, the only real restriction Gran had ever enforced. Setting
it on the old woman’s lap, she returned to her chair by the bed.
“I never told you how I ended up with your
great-grandfather,” Gran remarked quietly, opening the little chest.
Cass took a moment to consider. A legend in the Merrill
family—second only to Gran herself—Greatest-Granddad Ollie had died in the
1940s, before even the grandchildren were born. Yet each generation had grown
up with him. Sitting cross-legged on the old woman’s worn living-room carpet,
or curled into an ancient chair or sofa, listening to Gran’s stories, they had
come to know him, to love him, as if he had always been around. And though his
death was something of a murky spot in the family chronicle—rarely discussed
and vaguely understood to be suicide—it was his life the old woman loved to
recount. The sort of man he was, how much he meant to her. They had gone on
such adventures together, lived through incredible events. Through these
enthralling tales, Ollie lived again, and the entire family grew to adulate
him, even as Gran herself did.
It was no small shock then, when Cass realized she
had no idea how Gran had actually come to meet him. That can’t be right. Gran
would have told that one. Surely, I would have asked. Thinking back, giving herself a good
long moment to consider, she found her mind drawing a blank.
Before Cass could voice her surprise, Gran—whose
eyes remained fixed inside the box—shot up a silencing finger. “Wasn’t a
question, Cassidy,” the old woman muttered. “I’m not asking; I’m saying, you’ve never heard this story.”
Cass’s mouth snapped shut.
Picking through her jewelry—a bird digging for
insects amidst a carpet of fallen nettles—Gran’s eyes widened as she spotted
what she was looking for. She set the box aside. In her hand remained a silver
bracelet formed of fine, interlinking bands. It wore a heavy coat of tarnish,
painted on presumably, by time and neglect. It was a wonderfully detailed piece
though, and looked to be one-of-a-kind. Cass could not recall ever seeing Gran
wear it—or seeing it at all for that matter.
“This
bracelet,” Gran said, wistfully, “is older than you’d guess. Older than you’d
believe, actually. It has more stories in it than I could tell you if I had …
well, till you were my age. But the
most recent, the one as it matters to me—and to you—is the tale of your great-grandfather. Oliver. It’s a story
I’ve not told anyone. But then, no one as God-awful-old as me could miss how
special you are, Cass, could doubt that you deserve to know. I suppose it’s
time someone does.”
Cass’s throat seemed to swell. It was a struggle to
pull air into her lungs. She knows she’s
dying, she thought. She knows this
will be the last story she tells. Leaning forward, crushed by the
realization, yet desperate to hear what Gran had to say, she listened as the
tale began.
“It was, oh … so
far back now, in Turkey, maybe a year after the war—not the Great War; a few years on. After the Liberation. I guess these old bones
would have looked about your age then—just shy, maybe—a girl, figuring out what
it means to be a woman.
The winter rains came strong that year. I don’t
think I’d seen the river so high…”
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