Read The First Chapter Of 'The Intimacy You Crave: Straight Talk about Sex and Pancakes' by Lucille Williams

The Intimacy You Crave: 

Straight Talk about Sex and Pancakes' 

by Lucille Williams

Chapter 1

Let’s Talk about Sex

Not tonight, honey— I have a headache.

There was no possibility of escaping the awkwardness. It was one of those times when you wish you could have a do-over, but you’ve dug yourself a hole and your only choice is to sit in it while spectators watch your little circus act. Yeah, one of those moments.
I was a highly enthusiastic, brand-spanking-new Christian, and my husband was shiny new as well. And what do you do when you’ve just become a Christian? Well, you join a Bible study, of course. We were in our early twenties, BK (before kids), zealous rookie followers of Jesus, and the home Bible study we joined was led by an elder in our new church. We were right out of the gate big-time!

We loved attending each week and loved the warm, welcoming, and sincere group of people. There were newly married couples all the way on up to grandmas and grandpas. They all seemed to have a handle on how to live a Christian life, and we so wanted to emulate these seasoned, God-loving believers.

Oh, and one last important detail: this was an extremely conservative group. Think of the most conservative Christians you’ve ever met and double it. Okay, now we’re on the same page.

Yes, we truly enjoyed going. Until one night. . .

After the Bible lesson, the elder who was leading our study opened the floor—actually, it was a big circle—for comments and application. My hand shot up. I had been reading a book and wanted to share a story about a fighter pilot. I was nervous but really wanted to be embraced by the group. After being given permission to speak, I hesitantly proceeded with my story.

The more I spoke, the more I got into my groove, dramatically increasing my enthusiasm. When I got to the part in the story where the fighter pilot ejected out of his plane, that’s when things took a turn for the worst.

“He ejaculated out of the plane!” I exclaimed. Ejaculated? Something didn’t sound right.

“Ejaculated?” I repeated it several times: “Ejaculated. Ejaculated? He ejaculated out of the plane?” And if that wasn’t bad enough, I had hand motions to go with my story. (Come on, who talks without their hands?) So, as I said “ejaculated,” my hands were sweeping around the room in increasingly embarrassing ways.

The room was dead silent.

My husband buried his head in his hands, obviously wishing he were Houdini and could somehow escape.

Prolonging my circus act. . .The leader of the study simply stated, “Eject.” Having finally been given the right word, I continued, “Yeah, eject. The pilot ejected out of the plane.” Awkwardly, I proceeded to finish my story with all the finesse I could muster, but it was too late; finesse died at “ejaculation.”

Not one person laughed or even let out a chuckle. No one said a word. Not then, or ever.

As we were leaving the study, my husband muttered to me under his breath, “We are never coming back.” And we never did.

Shhhh! Don’t Talk about It

Don’t talk about such things! was the message we took away from that Bible study episode. C’mon, people. Laugh! That’s funny! So today—and throughout this book—we are going to talk about such things. Are you ready to talk about sex? And maybe laugh a little too, or laugh a lot? You’ve read this far; decide right now that you are going to read all the way through. I don’t know your reasons for picking up this book. Maybe you have a great sex life and want to improve it. Fantastic! Maybe your sex life is less than you’d like it to be or perhaps even so terrible you don’t even want to think about it. In any case, this book is for you. Perhaps your relationship could use more passion, more sizzle, more spice. If so, you’ve come to the right place.

Do you want to have a great sex life with your husband? I adamantly believe great sex makes life great. I know it makes my life great. When things are right in the bedroom, life is better— feelings of love, security, and contentment infuse me. I feel like I’m walking around with a little smile on my face all the time.

Was my marriage always this way? No, it wasn’t. In fact, there was a time many years ago when I would have described my marriage as downright rotten. Really rotten! Frankly, there were days when I would ask myself, “What did I do?” and “How much longer can I go on like this?”

As many women do who are in struggling marriages, I thought the majority of our problems were mostly because of him. Over and over in my head, I would replay the “wrongs” I had “suffered” from my husband.

God showed that it was me who had the majority of changing to do. I decided then and there that I can’t change my husband, but I can change me.

Today I can honestly and wholeheartedly say that I am contentedly and blissfully married. That may sound sappy, but it’s true. I can only attribute this transformation to God, who brought it about as I gave up my selfish ways in exchange for His more perfect ways. Like any other couple, we have had and continue to have struggles, but we use them to make us stronger. We fight— fiercely—to keep our marriage all that God crafted it to be, though we have plenty of normal conflicts too.

It is God’s plan that you keep your marriage strong—in every way.

Marriage is a chisel God uses to create a masterpiece.

God designed sex, and it truly is a mystery—two becoming one. It is the lifeblood of the family.

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